Earth Day: The Inconvenient Truth

April is a time of irony. Although it is officially known as the first full month of Spring, it is not uncommon for a few severe storms to strike out of the blue. It can be a confusing time for those unaccustomed to Mother Nature’s ways. Politically it is an equally confusing time for both the astute observer of the game as well as the unwitting participant.

Earth Day is here, and the dark irony is that its most radical participants have little or no idea that they are celebrating a fictional holiday created in part by a founding Hippie that murdered his live in girlfriend. Of course this lack of knowledge on their part is somewhat understandable since many Earth Day celebrants begin their festivities two days earlier on April, 20th, or, “Four Twenty,” as it is known in the pot-head community. Everything is a little hazy for these people. In fact, most of them have no idea that April 20th also happens to be the birthday of Adolph Hitler. That name may not ring any bells for these celebrants either. Earth Dayers live in the Now, for them, the past is irrelevant.

At any rate, murdered is the sanitary way to describe what Ira Einhorn did to Holly Maddux. He brutally smashed her skull in several places with a blunt object, then twisted her body into a trunk that could only fit a person half her size.  Einhorn then put the trunk into his apartment’s bedroom closet. Months went by until the stench of her rotting corpse became unbearable to his downstairs neighbors. After several complaints, the police eventually uncovered the grisly scene.

Forensics experts estimated that by the position of her upraised arm, Holly was probably stuffed into the trunk while still living. Half conscious, she struggled for air. Einhorn, the iconic hippie, casually went about his business of helping to make the world a cleaner, safer, and more breathable place. When confronted with the evidence, he told the police that he hadn’t seen Holly since she went down to the local co-op for tofu and sprouts.

However, now is not the time to dwell upon the past. The important thing to remember is that it is Earth Day, time to celebrate Nature’s gift of Mother Ship Earth.  Al Gore, creator of the Internet, creator of an Inconvenient Truth, will now lead us in a holy sermon. Let us Pray.

About the author

Mike Monpas wrote 9 articles on this blog.

Mike Monpas grew up with the desire to write, Studying journalism at Sacramento City College was an obvious direction after writing for one of Novato California's local papers. However, like much of life we seldom arrive at our goals directly. Mike found himself in Gereshk, the Helmand Province of Afghanistan with the Marines as a radio operator among other things. Fortunately, he made it home safe and is now happily married and living in Reno Nevada. Finally, back doing what he enjoys: writing and trying to make a difference. This lifelong conservative tells it like it is.

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